Whether the changes are gradual or sudden, the need for care can be challenging to accept. It’s not uncommon for loved ones to feel reluctant. Many people worry that it may hamper their independence, while others may feel embarrassed or worried about being seen as a burden.
No matter their concerns, there are gentle ways to approach the conversation with your loved one and help them seek the support they deserve.
In this article, we’ll uncover the factors that may be affecting your loved one’s opinions on care. We’ll also provide some tactics you can use when discussing these issues, talk about managing family expectations, and outline the importance of liaising with professionals during care conversations.
Does your loved one need care? Reach out to our compassionate team at Aspire UK today. We offer personalised home care support, so they can receive the care they need in the place they love.
Why male loved ones often struggle
While anyone may struggle and be reluctant to embrace care, it is often more common with male family members. Overall, men engage with care services (whether it be for their health, social services, or mental health concerns) less often than women.
A 2019-2020 report on outpatient attendance found that men accounted for only 42.1%. While women may face different health issues, there is a prevalence of men brushing off concerns to their detriment.
While many factors may contribute to this attitude, psychological and social factors are believed to have a significant impact. One of the most prominent is how care affects their identity.
Loss of identity
Many men, especially older individuals, have worked their whole lives. Being seen as the provider is an integral part of their identity, so seeking care may change that.
This can be intimidating and frightening. They may feel at a loss for who they are if they accept care, and be less inclined to do so. Likewise, they may feel influenced by their idea of masculinity and worry about how they will be perceived after seeking support.
Softly-softly tactics
When it comes to discussing your concerns with your loved one, it’s important to take a ‘softly-softly’ approach. These types of tactics put emphasis on being gentle, patient, and careful.
Here, we’ll outline a few different softly-softly strategies you may use to navigate care resistance with your loved one:
1. Finding the right match
Sometimes, hearing that you need support can be easier to take from a friendly face. Try to find someone who is the same age or gender as your loved one. Talking with someone who has a similar life experience may make it easier for your loved one to open up about their needs and expectations.
2. Sharing interests
If you’re not sure where to start, try to find common ground with shared interests. This can help you build trust and strengthen your relationship. This is crucial to having a fruitful discussion, as your loved one needs to feel comfortable and heard.
3. Actively listening
Encourage them to talk about their concerns, thoughts, and feelings. Ensure that you actively listen. Try to avoid interrupting them and let them speak their mind. Not only does this make them feel heard and understood, but it can also provide crucial insight into what they want moving forward.
Finding care support should ultimately be about your loved one’s needs and their goals for living well. Active listening is an approach that focuses on empathy to ensure care is approached the right way.
4. Revisiting at a later time
If your loved one is still resistant to care, there’s no need to push the issue. Make sure they feel comfortable and in control, and revisit the conversation at a later date.
This can give your loved one the breathing room they need to consider your points and think about what they want. Feeling rushed can push your loved one further away, and taking extra time may make all the difference.
Managing family expectations
While your family may want to be involved or have a particular idea about how care should unfold, it’s important to manage their expectations. Try to identify what’s realistic to expect and what isn’t. This may help to recentre your family on what the future may actually look like.
Likewise, keeping communication open and honest is important. It prevents misunderstandings and confusion from impacting your plans or loved ones.
Ultimately, managing family expectations may also go a long way to involving them in care the right way. It might strengthen bonds and ensure everyone has a network of support they can fall back on during difficult times.
Liaising with professionals
It’s important to seek advice from the NHS and social workers when pursuing care. They can help you understand what to expect and plan accordingly. Being prepared can help you approach your loved one with answers instead of more questions.
They can also help you find the right care option or service that fits your loved one’s needs. Further, you may be entitled to financial support, which could be crucial.
Other organisations are also available to offer support. The Centre for Ageing Better is one such charity, dedicated to improving the lives of older people. They provide valuable insight, resources, and guidance to help people enjoy life to the fullest.
Your trusted home care partner
If your loved one needs care, Aspire UK is here to deliver. We offer a range of home care services that are personalised to the needs and goals of your loved one. This means that, not only will they receive much-needed support, but they can do so in the comfort of their own home.
If you’re considering care or ready to get started, reach out to our friendly team today. We are committed to delivering genuine care and reliable support whenever it’s needed.
